The Assimilation is Complete

Well, it's finally happened. The Girl, though resisting with every fiber of her being, has become a Chinese-American. She's not thrilled and, naturally, she blames me.

It was a long time coming, really, and she held out as long as she could, but it appears that living me with me has, over time, changed her irreversibly. Witness this exchange we had just moments ago on the telephone:

Me: So, when are you going back to visit your parents?

The Girl: I dunno. Now this other company wants to interview me again. My flight is tomorrow at 7 PM so if I don't hear back from them before tomorrow morning I'm screwed- I'll have to change my flight. Jesus Christ, this is freakin' ridiculous!

Me: HOLY SHIT! You sound like an American!!!

The Girl: No way! What the hellaya talkin' about?!?

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Girl: I hate you.

Yep. She's Chinese-American alright. I expect that pretty soon her food portion sizes will triple, her knowledge of world geography will totally vanish, and she will thereafter develop an uncontrollable desire to run people off the road with a massive SUV that she doesn't even know how to park.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go. I've got a fish head boiling, my rice is ready and my jasmine tea is getting cold.

HOLY SHIT!